CHICAGO - The war on terrorism took a strange and sad turn Friday as airline officials at O'Hare International Airport refused to let a 73 year old grandmother board her plane as she had in her possession two, six inch knitting needles.
Apparently authorities were worried that she might knit an Afghan.
This picture was taken by a guy returning on a cruise this past summer (July 28, 2001). It is a sunrise over lower Manhattan.
HE Writes: As I watched the beautiful skyline of New York City float past me I noticed the sun was about to line up just behind the twin towers. I was lucky enough to snap the picture at exactly the right moment. If you look at the sun rays it is almost prophetic. - a little spooky.
When I show this picture to anyone they almost always asks for a copy. I just want to share it with all who want it. Please take this picture and share it with anyone and everyone who likes it. I've been printing them like crazy on my home computer to give to those that want a copy.
The Promise
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
There he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.
As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "this is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
Gung-Ho To Join The Green Berets In Afghanistan? Remember These Rules:
1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
4. The easy way is always mined.
5. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
6. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
a. When you're ready for them.
b. When you're not ready for them.
8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
9. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
10. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
11. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
13. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
14. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
15. When in doubt empty the magazine.
16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
20. A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
23. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
24. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
David's father thinks a bit, then says: "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with new found pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "And once that gets him out of his cave and in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of that motherf#cker!"
A BIG "THANK YOU" LAST WEEK FROM THE PRESIDENT...
"Since we met last year, millions of Americans have been led to prayer.
They have prayed for comfort in time of grief; for understanding in a time
of anger; for protection in a time of uncertainty. Many, including me,
have been on bended knee. The prayers of this nation are a part of the
good that has come from the evil of September the 11th, more good than we
could have ever predicted.
In this time of testing for our nation, my family and I have been blessed
by the prayers of countless of Americans. We have felt their sustaining
power and we're incredibly grateful. Tremendous challenges await this
nation, and there will be hardships ahead. Faith will not make our path
easy, but it will give us strength for the journey."
--President George W. Bush, National Prayer Breakfast, February 7, 2002.
***** ISN'T IT A BLESSING THAT OUR PRESIDENT BELIEVES IN PRAYER! WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO YOUR FRIENDS WHO ARE ALSO PRAYING, AND TO LET OTHERS KNOW THAT THE PRESIDENT GENUINELY APPRECIATES THEIR PRAYER SUPPORT. THANK YOU! *******
PRESIDENTIAL PRAYER REQUESTS FOR THE WEEK OF FEBRUARY 11, 2002: The Winter Olympics has returned to the United States. Over the next days the world's greatest athletes will test themselves and one another in the mountains near Salt Lake City, Utah. It will also be a major test of our ability to protect those athletes and a million or more visitors. Pray that this will be an opportunity to demonstrate to the world that we can safeguard our citizens and visitors without sacrificing our freedom.
Pray for the security forces at the Olympics, including the leaders listed below.
Pray for wisdom in the President's decisions regarding the next steps for fighting terrorists around the world.
Pray for the formation of the USA Freedom Corps, so that people of all walks of life will volunteer their time and talents toward meeting the needs of others.
The USA Freedom Corps will promote a culture of responsibility, service, and citizenship. It will work with key service agencies in government and the nonprofit sector to provide incentives and new opportunities to serve at home and abroad. The USA Freedom Corps will draw on help from Americans of all ages and of every background.
LEADERS TO PRAY FOR THIS WEEK:
Director of the Secret Service: Brian L. Stafford
Head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation: Robert S. Mueller, III
Head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency: Joe M. Allbaugh
PRESIDENTIAL QUOTE FOR THE WEEK:
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the
good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this
book."
--Abraham Lincoln
FROM THOMAS KINKADE, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE HONORARY
COMMITTEE:
"The power of prayer is like turning on a light as it illuminates God's
purpose for our lives. There is no greater connection to knowing His will
other than the Word. It is for this very reason that The Presidential
Prayer Team is needed. To under gird our President and his staff as they
lead us into this new millennium. It is a calling of great purpose and we
invite you to join with us."
--Thomas Kinkade
INSPIRATIONAL PRAYER FOR THE WEEK:
May the strength of God pilot us,
may the power of God preserve us.
May the wisdom of God instruct us,
may the hand of God protect us.
May the way of God direct us,
may the shield of God defend us.
May the host of God guard us
against the snares of the evil one,
against the temptations of the world.
--St. Patrick
PRAYER QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Usually prayer is a question of groaning rather than speaking,
tears rather than words. For He sets our tears in His sight,
and our groaning is not hidden from Him
who made all things by His Word
and does not ask for words of man."
--Augustine of Hippo
Facts: It's easy to understand why radical, fundamentalist Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Just look at their lifestyle:
No premarital sex.
No booze. None. Never.
No TV. No cable TV. No satellite TV.
No Space channel. No Playboy channel. No ESPN.
No Hooters!!.
No Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
No organized sports of any kind. That's right -- NO sports!!!.
Women have to be completely covered and wear veils. No thongs.
No Victoria's Secret stuff.
Very, very, very few cars. Camels. Lots of camels. Stinking, filthy camels.
Sand. *&^%** sand everywhere!
More sand.
Ever try to fish at an oasis? No bass boats. No bass. No fish.
Sandstorms. More **$#@ sand everywhere!
Rags for clothes and hats.
Camel and goat burgers cooked over burning camel dung chips.
Constant wailing from next door ... no...wait, that's their music!
And when you die it's supposed to all get better......
No wonder they volunteer!!"
"Beware of the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind."
"And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind is closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and do it gladly so."
"How do I know? I know for this is what I have done. And I am Caesar."
---Julius Caesar (100-44BCE)
WASHINGTON -- We're the white hats, but we're planning a "black" propaganda campaign against the axis - and even the allies.
People at the Defense Department and elsewhere are cringing at the news that the Pentagon's shadowy new Office of Strategic Influence is plotting to plant deliberately false stories in the foreign press, with both feral and friendly nations.
Covert disinformation activities have always been the province of the C.I.A. But Brig. Gen. Simon Worden, the head of the O.S.I., envisions a mission of psychological operations, or psyops, that "goes from the blackest of black programs to the whitest of white," as a senior Pentagon official told The Times.
William Cohen, defense secretary under President Bill Clinton, said on CNN that "We are talking about deceiving the media and the public in general in foreign countries, and that would be a mistake." Our government shouldn't need to lie to justify its increasingly broad and intricate war against terrorism. Holy Gulf of Tonkin!
Besides, there's enough real bad stuff about the bad guys - they're Evildoers, after all. We don't need to make up stuff to pin on them.
But let's look on the sunny side. At least the Bush administration is trying to disseminate information, even if it's fictional. Usually it's trying to suppress information, even if it's consequential.
The Bushes and anyone they allow into the club like to govern and conduct their wars behind closed doors. Dick Cheney is making an effort to get out, popping up at the Council on Foreign Relations and on Jay Leno last night. But he remains so hush-hush on what we really want to know, he's The Man Who Wasn't There.
Karen Hughes and Karl Rove keep a childproof cap on even the most anodyne information.
That's exasperating in normal times. But it's a whole lot more troubling when we're hatching so many schemes around the globe and when Americans may be asked to kill and to die in the service of these objectives.
The Pentagon owes us accurate civilian casualty counts as it targets all the extra-tall men in the mountains of Afghanistan, and the Justice Department needs to let us know who is being rounded up and detained and why.
If the Bush inner circle had a higher regard for journalism, and for the role of truth in public affairs, it would understand how repellent it is for the American government to hide the truth, delay the facts or peddle phony stories to news organizations overseas.
It should immediately nix the Pentagon scams about disinformation. And while it's at it, it should curb all the other ways the White House disses information, like:
Karinformation: Oodles of aggrandized anecdotes about the president, bathed in Ms. Hughes's rosy, alliterative glow, tightly controlled and parceled out to a select few journalists who can be trusted not to challenge the official version.
Karlinformation: "News" from the White House politically gamed to within an inch of its life. Mr. Rove's inclinations became clear when he called top journalists around town the day after 9/11 to explain that the president had not returned to Washington immediately because of a threat to Air Force One. That turned out to have as much merit as his stubborn insistence that the administration's ethics haven't been slicked by Big Oil.
Vice-Information: Information's sorry sibling, as in none at all. Mr. Cheney justifies this vacuum of accountability by spurious qualms about privacy in the West Wing. It is not executive privilege that is in danger of deteriorating, but rather the right of the public to be privy to executive decisions.
Fleischinformation: A dense thicket of seemingly informative prose that, on close inspection, does not have a single verdant shrub in it.
Calling Ari Fleischer "a great evasive bore," Michael Kinsley wrote: "Fleischer speaks a sort of imperial court English, in which any question, no matter how specific, is parried with general assurances that the emperor is keenly aware and deeply concerned and firmly resolved and infallibly right and the people are fully supportive and further information should be sought elsewhere."
Our cause is just. So why not just tell the truth?
Copyright 2002 The New York Times Company
"IN THE STATE OF THE UNION SPEECH BUSH CALLS IRAQ, IRAN, AND NORTH KOREA 'AXIS OF EVIL" - N.Y. Times, 1/30/02
-- ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, AND SYRIA FORM AXIS-OF- JUST-AS-EVIL. CUBA, SUDAN, SERBIA FORM AXIS-OF-SOMEWHAT-EVIL. OTHER NATIONS START OWN CLUBS.
Beijing (SatireWire.com) - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail and 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips. Let's pause a moment and take the following test.
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Norwegians from Ballard;
(b) Elvis;
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women; or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy;
(b) Crazed feminists complaining that being able to throw a grenade
beyond its own burst radius was an unfair and sexist requirement in
basic training;
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day; or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Luca Brazzi, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2;"
(b) The Tooth Fairy;
(c) Butch and Sundance who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from
the train mission, or,
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers;
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems;
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain:
"Mustapha the Merciless;" or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd.
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida trying to outdo their attempted
hijacking of the 2000 Presidential election;
(c) Mr. Bean,
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
Hmmm ............. Nope, ain't no patterns here.
The other day, while visiting a furniture store, I met a worker who looked Indian. But when I told him I was from India, he revealed he was from Pakistan. At that point, I had no choice: I grabbed a chair and chased him around the store, shouting, "Death to the Pakistani!"
Actually, it didn't go quite like that. Security was tight, so I waited until his shift ended and followed him home, where I deflated his tires, raided his refrigerator, and tattooed the words "I love India!" all over his body. Who said tattoos serve no purpose?
OK, I admit it: I didn't go that far. All I did was shake his hand and smile. We had a rather friendly chat. I didn't ask if any of his relatives were terrorists. He didn't ask if any of mine were infidels. We didn't even insult each other's mother-in-law.
He stated that the Kashmir dispute shouldn't create any ill will between us. "Yes," I said. "After all, India and Pakistan were once the same country. We are like family, you and I. That reminds me: Does this store offer any family discounts?"
If it were up to us, the border between India and Pakistan would be eliminated. Of course, if that happened, the country would have to look for a new enemy, so people in the military could keep their jobs. Gotta keep the economy going.
It's a funny thing about borders -- how they divide people, how they create enmity and envy, how they give travelers the occasional thrill of being strip-searched.
Borders often seem so arbitrary, so illogical, like a British monarch delegated the task of drawing borders to his pet monkey. And yet we take them so seriously. We act like the people across the border are so different from us.
Fifty-year-old man: "They're crazy, those people across the border. They speak a strange language and play strange games. Crazy, I tell you."
Wife: "Oh, be quiet. You really shouldn't speak ill of the Canadians. They're just like us. Nice people."
I've often wondered what America would be like if every state were an independent country. It would be virtually impossible to travel from Nevada to Utah.
Border officer: "You're from Las Vegas? What, may I ask, do you want in Utah? There's no gambling here, you know. No prostitution either. We don't even allow bingo."
Traveler: "I'm visiting my parents. They live just across the border."
Officer: "Visiting your parents? I don't believe it. It's not Christmas yet. Sorry, I can't let you through. If you want to enter Utah, you'll have to hide in a barrel like everyone else."
I like the Internet because it crosses borders so easily, brings people of different countries together. People in almost any country can read my column, people in almost any country can send me hate mail. I love hearing from Pakistanis as much as anyone else.
In major American cities, you will find Indians and Pakistanis doing business side by side, some operating stores with names like South Asia Boutique, Indo-Pak Groceries and Indo-Pak Sweets & No Disputes. You may even spot them at the local park, playing a few innings of cricket -- laughing and shouting and ignoring the strange looks from passers-by.
There's no border between these people. I hope there never is.
Pakistan was created in 1947, when India gained its independence from Britain. Muslim leaders demanded a separate Muslim state. Originally, Pakistan consisted of two regions, West Pakistan (now Pakistan) and East Pakistan (now Bangladesh). Despite the 1947 partition, India still has the second highest Muslim population in the world (Indonesia is first).
One day after the terrorist attacks in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania, a man stood on the street of a foreign country with an American flag and a sign. I didn't really have time to look; I was busy and in a state of shock over the recent events. Yet something compelled me to stop. What did this man want to say about my country? Would I have to defend mom, apple pie and rock 'n' roll so far from home? I crossed the street. On his sign were four simple words I will never forget: "Wir alle sind Amerikaner."
The country was Switzerland, and it is my second home. It is also stubbornly neutral and not even a member of the United Nations. Also neutral, in his own way, is Erwin Handschin, the man with the American flag and the sign. Not a member of any political party, union or club, he has never been to America and doesn't even speak English. This country and this man do not take positions, generally speaking. But on September 12, 2001, Herr Handschin woke up near Zurich and felt compelled to hold a one-man demonstration. Walking the streets of the largest Swiss city, he carried an American flag over his shoulder and a sign that proclaimed, "Wir alle sind Amerikaner." Many people congratulated him or clapped their approval. Because I speak German, I knew immediately what the words meant, but their deeper meaning only became clear a few minutes later.
I introduced myself and a conversation developed. The sixty-year-old had gotten up early that morning and written his feelings down on a piece of paper. He wanted to show that his heart went out to Americans, that he had compassion for them in their time of grief and confusion. As we talked, the deeper meaning of his sign became apparent to me: What America stands for is what most people everywhere stand for. The spirit and the ideals of our country are what is best about being human. They are what men and women all over the world envy and identify with: freedom, democracy, courage, compassion. And yes, even rock 'n' roll.
Today, the streets in Zurich are more or less back to normal. Bankers, barons and businessmen walk these noble strassen. Neutrality is secure. But as I stroll through the city these days, Erwin's nonneutral words accompany me: We are all Americans. It is one reason why our country will prevail.
The evening after his one-man demonstration, Erwin went back to his apartment, cooked some dinner and went to bed at around midnight. He didn't sleep right away; instead, he lay in bed and thought to himself, Today you did something good, something that embodies the spirit of people everywhere. Indeed you did, Erwin.
We are all Americans.
Reprinted by permission of Arthur Wilson Bowler © 2001 from Chicken Soup for Soul of America by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Matthew E. Adams. All rights reserved.